Conspicuous Compassion
A couple of days ago we took the kids for a ride to calm them down for the night. It's something we've grown fond of doing, and we always like driving through the neighborhoods where the houses are new, modern, and big. As we were driving, our son Gray was talking about anything and everything he could, ranging from cars to planes to houses. Then he said something that struck us both as incredibly perceptive.
Just so you know, we live in a house. We know this not because of any paper documentation or system of conventional measurement. We know this because that's what Gray calls it. It's a house, plain and simple. We didn't realize how significant this definition was to him until this night while we were driving.
As we came through one of the neighborhoods, Gray looked out the window of our vehicle and proclaimed, "Castles! Daddy, Mommy, castles!" They were two- to three-story homes, with at least a 7,000 square foot area within. Some had pools. Others had basketball courts. Most had four or more garage stalls. The doors were big enough to fit large livestock through without damaging the finish.
Even at less than two years of age, our son is aware of conspicuous consumption. And as I was thinking about this, it made me realize something about our lives on this earth.
We hunt so often for the next great thing, whether it's a bigger (or more expensive) car, a larger home, more amenities, or even just a more vast collection of music or movies. In the meantime, people see this, and sometimes only this, as a symbol of who we are in the world. We are seen as consumers, and many of us are conspicuous to say the least.
But according to God's Word, all of this will disappear in the blink of an eye, leaving us with nothing of this earth to bring to Heaven (or elsewhere). So here is my new goal: conspicuous compassion. I don't want to be seen as the guy with the awesome convertible that goes 150 miles per hour. I don't want to be that guy with the "castle" on the lot overlooking the manmade pond, complete with personal paddleboat. I want to be the guy who people look at and say he's done everything in his power to show the love of God through his actions, his words, and his heart.
Conspicuous Compassion.
After all, that's how Jesus got noticed. Even with his dirty sandals and simple cloth robe.
Backstage with the Worst One-Man Show on Earth: Me
This Sunday was a rough one. As a worship leader, I'm bound to run into panic-worthy moments, but sometimes I just don't have it together, even when I think I'm totally with it. I came into the service with some preconceived notions of how I wanted it to go, mostly started with sending out YouTube links to a couple of the songs we were planning to perform. When I got together with the team to practice, I asked if they had watched the videos to get the idea of what the songs were going to sound like. Out of the eight other people on the team, only two had taken the time to watch the videos. Strike One. Then, after teaching the songs how I thought they should go, I was met with mix troubles. I had to do part of the mixing on my own since we don't have a dedicated individual for our practices, just for the service. I followed up this frustration with added events in the worship line-up and a few switches. Strike Two.
By the time our sound tech got to the board it was 10:50, about five minutes before we were to stop and pray. Strike Three. I was frustrated, downright flustered, and I expressed that frustration when I had trouble hearing what she was trying to say, mostly because I have trouble with background noise when trying to listen to voices. I did this while people were coming into the sanctuary. One of those people was my wife.
This is one of the many reasons I love my wife.
When we got home, she told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was being a jerk and that everyone could see and hear it. This wasn't just during practice, but throughout the entire service. My bad mood spread across the church like a nasty cold, and I had little idea of how this was affecting others because I was so stuck in this attitude. I was absolutely positive I was the only person that knew what I was doing well enough for the service to be effective. It seems I was off base on this opinion.
She told me straight up that I owed our sound tech, and the team as a whole, an apology. And that I should have my hearing checked. I took some time to pray this afternoon, after a bit of self-pity and pouting, and then I promptly apologized, as my wife suggested, to the entire team and the sound tech.
What I realized was that my heart was not where it was supposed to be. I was there to lead worship, not perform, and it certainly didn't matter to God whether or not our team was mixed well enough to be recorded and sent out to millions of record stores nationwide. What He wanted was honest praise. I got stuck on arrangements and mix and forgot about worship itself.
So I kicked myself over it for a while and moved on. Next week, I'm promising myself--and everyone else--that I won't be that way again. God wants me to love Him purely and simply, and he's not expecting a Broadway show to prove it. He's perfectly fine with children's theatre. Or even community theatre. Even really bad "we forgot our lines, and perhaps even the plot in general" community theatre. It's not up to me to put on a show. It's up to Him. And that show will go on whether or not I know my lines, and the judgment on the quality of the show rests solely upon the shoulders of the One who writes, directs and produces the lives we live. I know I've had moments like this before, but today I was put in my place by the person God designed specifically to do that job.
So, if you too are an impatient, self-absorbed, hearing-impaired jerk trying to put on a one-man show for God each Sunday (or Wednesday, or Saturday, or whenever), please take a step back and realize what God's looking for before you start stomping around like a tantrum-throwing toddler. He'll love you no matter what.
Reminiscing…
Just went to homestarrunner.com again...haven't been there for ages. It's still funny. I just don't have as much time to waste, so there's no chance I'll ever get caught up on Strong Bad emails.
This just makes me think about all the good stuff from college and high school that I've mostly forgotten about. It's always fun to pop in one of those albums you just haven't listened to for a while, or watch a movie that used to be one of your favorites. I put on some Zao the other day and couldn't believe how great they were even twelvebyears ago (and how little metal music has really changed in that time). The same goes for MxPx (although punk just isn't what it used to be).
Even reading over Bible verses I haven't read for a while brings new depth and meaning to things I thought I understood completely.
Aging may be one of the most important processes we go through in life, especially if we're willing to continue to look back and remember and rethink what we once took for granted. It may be one of the hardest lessons in life as well, mostly because it's not going to happen all at once, even though you'll realize you've changed all at once. Scary stuff.
I guess my point is this: don't ever forget where you started. You can leave it behind, you can stuff it away in a box, you can eliminate the traces of the things that once terrified or berated you, but forgetting them is saying that you refuse to learn from yourself. And that's a huge mistake.
Google Music
Thanks to my bro-in-law Chris, I now have Google Music Beta on my phone. It is awesome! Totally stoked about having all my music from home available anywhere. I've been looking for a solution for a while now with no easy answer found, but this might just be what I've wanted. Now I'm going to have to figure out if I can share my music with the NetFlixFinds forum through my Google Music account...!
Being Sick
...is not fun. I really hate it. Really. Grayson came home with a cold and an ear infection from the first week at daycare. Go figure. Of course, he couldn't keep it to himself, so thus I am now on antibiotics for another 11 days yet. Ear aches, headaches, soar throat, a disobedient uvula (that's the dangly thing between your tonsils), and a stuffy head like no other. Sudafed helps, though!
With all the madness of summer over, it looks like we're into the fall madness season. Izzy is patiently waiting in mommy's tummy, but hopefully she'll make her move sooner rather than later. We're rather tired of the waiting game and are looking forward to her arriving. Hurry up, girlie!
On the work front, the bands and choirs are getting into the swing of things at the school. In fact, we had our first pep band already (face-melting volume, might I add!), and the choir's starting to sing the national anthem mighty pretty. Some days it's hard to be sure that your kids will survive a long-term substitute, but I think they'll be just fine this year. At the church, it sounds like we're rebadging our service and our praise band a bit...seems a former member had trademarked the name and now is respectfully asking us not to use it any longer. Not a bad plan, since we're a far cry from the original group (18 years ago it was something like a gospel choir, from what I can piece together from other members' descriptions). She was the last founding member, so obviously it's time for a change. I'm up for any churchy name suggestions!
Weather has finally taken a turn for the better around here. It's refreshing to step outside and not feel like you're walking into a tropical rainforest. I prefer the fall weather by a long shot, and it's great for Lifelight, which is now in full swing. We didn't get to go to Relient K last night, but to be honest, it's hard for us to stay up until 10:30 for anything anymore. We. Are. Old. We're hoping to get there today and watch a few of the other awesome bands they have lined up.
Much love to the few readers I have. Most of you are my closest friends, and I have not spent enough time with you lately. Hoping we get a little more time to chill together. I'm feeling some jam sessions and golf in the not-so-distant future if at all possible!
A Little Picture of Grayson
On his first "free range" trip to Sertoma Butterfly House, my son decided to rest a bit on the path. Of course when he saw the camera, he hammed it up a bit.
The Sioux Empire…for Kids
Becoming a dad means many learning experiences, not the least of which is finding creative ways to keep your kid's hands out of the way during diaper changes. Yes, there are plenty less pleasant lessons, but there are also some incredible discoveries that come with this life-changing stage. I'm personally a huge fan of finding new places to go for my son Gray. Here are a couple of my favorites in and near Sioux Falls:
The Sertoma Butterfly House (about $40 for a 1-year family membership) - Sioux Falls
A great cool day or hot day activity, the Butterfly House raises hundreds of tropical butterflies in an indoor climate controlled "flight room." Very relaxing, but even more beautiful. Today my almost-14-month-old walked through it on his own without incident. But the butterflies aren't the only wildlife you can see. They also have 13 different tanks of tropical fish, including corals, saltwater fish, freshwate fish, starfish, and seahorses. There are also tarantulas, hissing cockroaches, frogs, and lizards. Great place to look, but not great for those who insist upon touching everything. You may get a butterfly to land on you if you're gentle enough!
The Great Plains Zoo (about $80 for a 1-year family membership) - Sioux Falls
If you've lived in or near Sioux Falls for any length of time, you've no doubt heard of the Great Plains Zoo. While it may not compete with bigger zoos in Omaha and Minneapolis, it's certainly nothing to scoff at. The zoo houses rhinos, meerkats, bears, tigers, snow leopards, ostriches, zebras, giraffes, and a petting zoo, just to name a bit of the offerings. It also includes the Delbridge Museum, an indoor taxidermy museum, which includes hundreds of different animal species, a couple aquariums and some learning centers. And if you want to see some of the other animals the Great Plains Zoo doesn't have, the membership offers reciprocal benefits for zoos across the country (including our nearest neighbors and our furthest friends). They're building new exhibits all the time, so it's definitely worth coming back to!
South Dakota Children's Museum (about $90 for a 1-year family membership) - Brookings
Museums are cool, but nothing compares to a kid's museum! This place, housed in an old school building, offers miniaturized and fully-touchable versions of almost anything you could think of--a post office, a coffee shop, a grocery store, even a race car garage! Even the youngest can have a blast here. The water room is incredible, and there's a paint and art center for older kids. Outside you can find a river and small splash park, as well as a dinosaur dig area and full-size animatronic models of a T-Rex and a Velociraptor (which could scare the crap out of many kids!). This is an absolute blast, and it can definitely provide a ton of entertainment for a long day.
I'm going to continue adding to this as I find more, but here's a good start!
Labor Day
It's amazing how quickly a three-day weekend can fly by. Yet it was more relaxing than I could have possibly imagined. We spent two nights at the lake, Gray and all, and enjoyed almost every minute of it. We had almost all of our close friends out there at one point or another (sans David and Melita and Jack). We even had a bonfire and took out the dock, despite the cold, windy, rainy weather. Good food, a new relationship, and plenty of awesome times to end the summer officially.
But, once again, it's bittersweet to see the cabin come to a close. With any hope, though, we'll practically live there next summer. Gray should be able to handle a little more next year (we hope).
To all those with similar Labor Day memories, my heart goes out to you. We all long fir another three months.